Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Unknown best-selling author

Crazy Train (of thoughts)

George W. Bush is the best president I’ve ever voted for.

If the people who leave their carts in the middle of the parking lot would walk a few more feet to the return, they might drop a few unnecessary pounds.

Speaking of weight, I’ve lost 9 pounds since New Year’s Eve. My resolution is working!

My brother is coming to visit tonight. We’ll probably have sushi and watch LOST. I love it when family comes to stay.

Why do more women smile at me at red lights now that I drive a Land Rover than did when I drove an Isuzu?

Someone told me once they would commit suicide if we broke up. Yeah, that’ll convince me to stay. CRAZY!

Marital Bliss

I rose 30 minutes before she did. I turned off the ceiling fan, switched on the space heater and closed the doors of the bathroom to make it toasty for her. I started the coffee, made her lunch, and got breakfast underway. I went back upstairs to make sure she was awake, and turned on the hot water in the shower before heading back down to finish her breakfast. I put her lunch, briefcase, and two bottles of water for the drive in the car, and started it to get it warm, too. Soon she appeared, looking her usual fantastic. We chatted as she ate and made plans for the evening. I walked her to the car to send her off. “I love you,” she said as she slid into the car.
“I love you, too,” I responded.
“I can’t wait to see you again this afternoon,” she added.
I smiled, my day off to a great start.

Kid-bytes

Linley, just turned twelve, a self-proclaimed maverick and instigator, is the least warm and fuzzy of my family of four. Words of affection directed toward her are usually met with remarks like “Ditto,” “Peace out,” or “Whatever.”
On the way to school this morning we listened to her music, some freak band singing some stupid rebellion song, and she tried to teach me the lyrics. I failed miserably in the exercise. “Love ya,” I said as she got out of the car once at school.
“I love you, too,” she said as she closed the door and walked away.
I smiled again. Yes, indeed, my day is off to a great start.

Today’s Rant

I read recently that 195,000 books are published each year. Competition is tough and many books sell less than 5,000 copies. My first book has sold over 500,000 copies and my series, over 2 million copies. I’ve been on the New York Times best-seller list five times. And the Atlanta Journal & Constitution still won’t give mention of my books! What? Is it because I don’t rap, don’t have an arrest record, haven’t lied in a memoir? Is it because I voted for Bush? Or is it because the AJC sees no redeeming value in wholesome books celebrating family values? I don’t know, they won’t take my calls.

Book Report

An excerpt from my first book, Why a Daughter Needs a Dad: 100 Reasons –

“When I saw the first sonogram I could tell that our baby was a girl. Even though the doctor said it was too early to tell, I was convinced and thereafter believed my hopes and dreams about fatherhood were coming true. I was in the delivery room when she arrived. The first person she looked at was me. I was smitten instantly.”

Meagan Katherine, I’m still smitten. It’s been almost 16 years since that day, and I still feel the same way whenever I see you. I love you so much, sweet girl!

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