Friday, March 10, 2006

Dog Day Afternoon

Crazy Train (of thought)

I saw the Dog Whisperer on Fox yesterday. The first piece of advice given was to stop humanizing your dogs. “They want to be dogs, not little humans,” he said. Exactly, I thought, I’ll tell Jill. I ran downstairs to the pantry where the doggie wardrobe is kept, bent on tossing them, envisioning a bonfire in the yard blazing as each dress was thrown in. Scooping them up, I made my way into the garage, headed for the trashcan, when the garage door began to open, and my wife drove up. She stopped abruptly and jumped out of the car. “What are you doing with Princess’s clothes,” she demanded. Caught and thinking fast, I said the only thing that came to mind, “Ah, taking them to the drycleaner.” Her eyes lit up. “I knew you loved her!” she said with delight. Dog, 1; Man, 0.

Marital Bliss

Well, I was right. Jill came home last night looking bacon-smokin’ hot. Yesterday I said she looks a lot like Katherine Hepburn just after having her hair done. She does. And on other days? Like Ms. Hepburn crossed with Rene Russo, but with a bit more boobage. Dear Lord, thank you for the blessings you have bestowed upon me! And Princess, count your blessings, too, you little stinking, bulimic turd machine.


Last night Meagan got her first car, a small SUV with all the trimmings. She didn’t know it was coming, a complete surprise it was. When we drove onto the lot there it was, covered with balloons and waiting for her. She shrieked, jumped, cheered, and hugged and kissed everybody in sight. I handed her a heart-shaped keychain as we walked toward the car. The look in her eyes when she took it from me, the smile across her face, is an image I’ll never forget. I love my kid.

Today’s Rant

If JD Powers wants me to continue completing these 12 page surveys, they need to start sending more than $1 with each one.

Book Report

Yeah, progress! I have finished the first draft of the 100 reasons and half the necessary photographs for two upcoming books, and I am scheduling models for photographs for a third project due next Spring. I’m really getting into the creative aspects of photography and am playing with the idea of finding a gallery to represent me. It would be fun to have a book signing at a gallery on opening night. Still no word on the novel; its floating around NY hoping to find a home. I guess I can’t have everything.

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