Thursday, March 16, 2006

Sake to me

Crazy Train (of thought)

I suppose one of the best things about being a sushi chef is you can drink beer on the job, and your customers buy the beer for you.

I have this song stuck in my head – “there’s a gnat on the worm on the frog on the back of the fish on the log in the hole on the bottom of the sea, there’s a gnat on the worm …”. Now it’s stuck in your head, too, isn’t it.

How do they get sake out of rice? Is it different if they use brown rice?

How come the letter W is one letter, but depending on where in the country you come from, it is pronounced with two or three syllables?

Marital Bliss

Jill is on her way to Orlando with Linley for a Disney Spring vacation. They are huge Disney fans and are so excited about the trip I am sure one of them has wet their pants already. Jill even has a Minnie doll collection as evidence of her devotion to ol’ Walt. The first challenge to our engagement was when she wanted to buy a cabinet to display the collection in the living room of the house. I am a man. If there were going to be animals on the wall, it was going to be a talking fish of something, but not a mouse dressed in a hula skirt. Much discussion later, the doll collection is on a shelf in our walk-in closet, and there are no fish anywhere in the house. However, as a compromise, we did agree that after Princess passes (cannot be soon enough), we’ll have her stuffed and then use her for a door stop.


Meagan and I ate sushi last night, reliving one of our rituals we shared before I remarried. As we ate we recalled lots of things we used to do together, and somehow we ended up singing old camp songs, Grease tunes, and Captain and Tennille hits. We did our best to dance in our chairs without distracting others at the sushi bar. It was somewhere around then I noticed our sushi chefs were downing big bottles of Sapporo. I’m sure it was just a coincidence.

Today’s Rant

Admitted sex offender, Andrea Selva was brought up on 20 counts of child abuse for raping and sodomizing two young boys over a period of three years. He was then sentenced only to probation by Ohio Judge John Connor. I think we should shave the good Judge down, rub him in baby oil, clothe him in a diaper, and toss him in a pit of crazed and deprived pedophiles. Maybe after he can empathize with Selva’s victims, he will have a change of philosophy about just punishment for those who sexually assault children. I suppose the problem with my scenario is the Judge is a bald, fat, ugly old man. Maybe if we gave him a baby bottle filled with vodka (he’s an admitted alcoholic)…

Book Report

While taking photos at a friend’s house she showed me her new pet, one of those ugly hairless felines, like Doctor Evil’s cat, Mr. Bigglesworth. “Touch it,” she said. I did. “Feels like a penis, doesn’t it,” she said. Realizing this was a trick question, I asserted my rights under the Fifth Amendment.

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