Friday, April 28, 2006

Paging Dr. Heimlich

Crazy Train (of thought)

When did the president become responsible for everything? Does the public not know what a free market economy is? I think again and again Economics and Civics should be required curricula in high school; else our future voters are going to be dumber and dumber.

I saw a guy on the treadmill stop to take a smoke break. Wouldn’t that qualify as a tangible oxymoron?

Daddy bought the house and Daddy bought the cars, but Daddy has to park in the street so the girls won’t melt. The ails of chivalry!

Someone told me recently “we all have families that include at least one annoying person.” That was so timely I nearly fell off my chair laughing.

That dang word “badonkadonk” is still stuck in my head. I need a new phrase before it gets me in trouble!

The A/C guy working on my house wore a t-shirt with a boar on the back. “You hunt?” I asked. “That’s what I tell my wife, but really a bunch of friends of mine and I just like to drink beer in the woods,” he said without missing a beat. Hummmm….

Marital Bliss

It is usually all wine and roses between Jill and I, but like all couples we occasionally upset one another. Last night we had a misunderstanding about our schedule and I got snappy about it. I saw right away I hurt her feelings and set out to make her feel better. I apologized, hugged her and asked her to forgive me, and within two minutes all was well. The sweet thing about our relationship is we would rather hug and kiss than fight and fume so apologies and forgiveness are exchanged quickly between us. As she went one way and I went another I was confident she had accepted my apology, yet I wanted her to feel super good, which leads me to….


I took Meagan to dinner while Jill and Linley had their mom-daughter outing. As we were eating I decided to text Jill another apology with an additional suggestive message of affection. I typed it out while talking to Meagan about this and that, sent it and resumed dining. A few minutes later Meagan’s cell phone received a text message – she had been e-conversing with her boyfriend most of the afternoon. I looked up and she was making gagging sounds and grabbing her throat, the universal sign for choking. I jumped up and pulled the table back, ready to position her for the Heimlich maneuver, when she started laughing and held up her phone for me to see. I scanned it quickly, suddenly saw the word “badonkadonk,” and realized what I had done. As I was trying to get over my embarrassment, I think I heard her say “I hope my husband is as crazy about me as you are about Jill.” Me, too, honey, me too.

Book Report

Sometimes when I need a bit of encouragement I begin my day reading email. There I am sure to find at least one bit of fan mail that puts me in the right frame of mind, that assures me I should keep writing as I do...

“You should be encouraged by the life that you have lived and the things that you have learned and the great talent you have of capturing the depth of experiences that touch your readers. As I have written to you before, when I read your book "why a daughter needs a dad" I wept and felt so emotional about the words written because that is what my father has done for me and I hope my daughter's father will do for her.”

Thank you friend, you are responsible for the next 8-10 pages of material that will come to mind today!

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