Friday, April 21, 2006

Sweet Badonkadonk!

Crazy Train (of thought)

Thanks for your comments, Debbie!

Why is it when I tell a broker I prefer index funds, they assume I’m a Clark Howard fan?

I once dated a woman who tried to order a bowl of Cinco de Mayo at a Mexican restaurant. It was a short-lived relationship.

If the guy spent 18 years making the world’s largest rubber band ball, I’m sure he accomplished little else.

I’m very sweet to the young woman who cuts my hair, and I tip her well. After all, it wouldn’t be wise to hack off the girl who has a straight razor against your neck.

The nice thing about a deposition is that is when you can clear up a lot of things.

Don’t you hate it when at the end of the day, you find you have a hole in the crotch of your pants?

Marital Bliss

I have written two romantic books for Jill, Why I Love You and Love Signs, as well as two others she helped inspire, Why We Are a Family and Why You Are My Friend. She is my beautiful muse. I’m beginning another romantic book to be dedicated to her, this one about different ways to say “I love you.” I wonder if I can get “I’m crazy about your sweet badonkadonk!” past my editor?

Kid-bytes

Meagan and I have been practicing parking in preparation for her driving test which she takes today. Yesterday we pulled into what we thought was a nearly abandoned office park so she could back into a space over and over again until she could consistently get the car perfectly centered between the lines. After about a half-hour we decided she was doing pretty well and the lesson was over. As we began to drive off we saw a few employees standing in a window overlooking the parking lot. A man gave her a thumbs up as we drove past. Thank you, sir, she needs all the encouragement she can get today.

Today’s Rant

I get so annoyed when people say “I subconsciously…” Hello, if it was not in your consciousness, how do you know about it? It’s just excuse making, using old psychobabble to explain what you should just own and admit to.

Book Report

The Daughter – Mom book is my second best seller. I often get reader emails like this one:

“I wanted to let you know that I think "Why a Daughter Needs a Mom" is a great book!! My roommate bought it for her mother and I read it. It says so much. My mom is turning 50 years old soon and I have decided to purchase this book for her. I think it will be a great gift to show how much I appreciate everything she has done for me and how much I love her, to let her know that her relationship is so important to me. There are no words to express how much I appreciate my mother, and I am hoping this will give her a bit of an idea. I just wanted to thank you for writing such a great book, and tell you that the story of your family is great. My parents got divorced a few years ago after being married for 23 years, and I am thankful everyday that they still get along and talk on the phone, and hang out once in while. I think it is great that you and your ex-wife do the same.”

The funny thing is this is the book that gets mixed reviews on Amazon.com. Some people love it, others hate it. Or do they? The ones that hate it always post their comments with a pseudonym, not their real name. I wonder if it is jealous competition, or just some troll who thinks he/she can slam my books and cause me injury. The good news is people seem to ignore the negative comments; the book keeps selling strong. Thanks to my supporters!!!!

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