Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Tex was here

Crazy Train (of thought)

I’ve been given several nicknames, including Poppa G, Big G, just plain “G”, Other Husband (thanks, Laura), Chef, Iron Man, and more recently, Tex. Don’t ask me about the last one, I don’t get it either.

Another fortune cookie adage – He who boosts of his power and influence reveals his foolishness.

While signing books at Barnes and Noble, a customer mistook me for an employee and asked where he could find a book about starting his own religion. I directed him to the Humor section.

A true story – a father was helping his very young son in a stall when the boy asked, “Daddy, why does my peewee stick out?” The father tried his best to change the subject, but the son was insistent with his query. As muffled laughter from other stalls was heard, the father finally said “Sometimes it just does.” “Does yours?” was the son’s next question. As the father scrambled to finish up, uproarious laughter erupted. “Let’s not talk about our penises anymore,” the father said as he helped his son wash his hands and hurried him out of the bathroom. “What’s a penis?” I heard the son ask just as he stepped back into the bookstore.

Marital Bliss

Jill and I each brought a daughter into our marriage. As they approach their teenage years and become interested in and vulnerable to boys, I worry about how to prepare them for the thrills, trials and tribulations of relationships they will face without causing them unnecessary alarm. I want them to enjoy dating, but I want them to be appropriately cautious and selective about whom they give their hearts to. I want them to have deliriously happy, lasting marriages. I want them to never shed a tear over broken promises and dashed hopes. I want them to never know loneliness and despair. When I have these thoughts, I remember how I learned about romantic love watching my parents, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, and others close to me who had a way of relating that was unmistakable in its meaning, that an intense love was shared, enjoyed, and reciprocated. These worries and memories compel me to be unfailing in my efforts to show Jill how very much I love her, for I know that in doing so I am also teaching the girls a valuable life lesson, that is, what true love looks like. If there is one thing Jill and I want to be for the girls, it is to be a model for what marriage they want for themselves. I think we are succeeding – the girls tell us it is obvious to all that we are in love, that we are meant to be together, that we look happier than anyone has ever seen us. Indeed, I love my wife.


One of the girls said Jill and I were “cooler than most parents.” How we got that compliment I’ll never know, ‘cause just two days ago we were told we are “as boring as crap.” That’s okay; we weren’t trying to be the most entertaining parents.

Today’s Rant

I think if we connected the dots between illegal aliens living in the US and their use of the social services paid for by the taxpayers, we would find a good argument for the Fair Tax. At least then everyone, including those who have evaded paying taxes by living in a cash economy, begins contributing something to the support of the welfare system.

Book Report

If you’ve read any of my books you know that I share something of my personal history in each one. You would know that I was a rebellious teen, that I once hated my father, that I’ve been through divorce, that my child once despised me, that my faith has been challenged, and much more. I’ve never held myself out as a model Christian, a man without flaws, a perfect father or son, or someone who should be praised or looked up to. If you poke around you will find something. If you want to find my distracters, they are out there. I cannot hide from what I’ve done in the past, nor would I want to. I am the product of all my experiences; they made me. And that is the underlying point of and reason for the widespread popularity of my books. I am an everyday man, someone like you. I am proof that love and happiness is not reserved for the perfect and beautiful people. A good life, one filled with love, happiness, friendship, passion and fun can be had by all of us. All you have to do to have it is ask for forgiveness, and thereafter do your best to live with humility.

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