Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Family Matters

Crazy Train (of thought)

An ounce of common sense would tell you not to make claims you can’t support with good evidence.

The problem with telling lies is that after you’ve told them over and over again, you begin to confuse yourself.

I’m always suspicious of those restaurants that want you to pay your tip before you’ve been seated and served.

When you write your next resume, it’s best to make sure you are old enough to have actually accomplished all the stuff you say you did.

Who appointed me spokesperson? Nobody, but someone’s got to say this stuff.

Jill and I went to a Cinco de Mayo party recently and on the way out the door she remarked, “I wish Princess had a sombrero.” That dog has more fashion accessories than I do.

Marital Bliss

Jill, Linley and I went shopping for Mother’s Day cards. We planned to buy three, one each for our mothers, but left with 16 instead. I decided to get one for my mother-in-law, Jill decided to get one for my mom, Linley acted on her own and Meagan’s behalf and selected several for their grandmothers, and the list went on and on. The bill was enough to have taken us all to dinner at a decent restaurant, but I didn’t mind. The exercise assured me of what I thought I already knew, that our marriage was primarily for us, but also it was for everybody. All four of us inherited an extended family; all four of us were welcomed in. I have in-laws I love, my parents have another grandchild, and each child has another set of grandparents as well as new aunts, uncles, and cousins. Sure, we can all agree it is most desirable for first marriages to last, but the reality is many do not. The second best thing we can hope for is in the case of a blended family, that it “blends” really well. I have to say, in our house, we are succeeding on that objective. I thank my wife for taking my family into her heart, and for urging me into the hearts of her family. I thank her for entrusting me with her daughter, and for being the other mother for mine.


Meagan went to her first prom Saturday night and I was the appointed photographer at the before-party. There were five young couples (and their parents) there, all decked out and eagerly awaiting the limo. Meagan acted a little embarrassed as I posed and snapped photos, but pleased with me at the same time, happy everyone wanted their picture made. I took a hundred photos and eventually we parents sent our kids off for the big night. Once at home I downloaded the images and scanned them quickly, looking to make sure I had a few good ones. My attention went to one in particular; one I forgot had been taken. Meagan’s mom took it with my camera – it was of my sweet child with her arms wrapped around Jill and I, all three of us grinning wide. It made me smile to see the three of us looking so happy together, and it made me even happier to recall that my ex-wife took the picture, that she, Jill and I could be together enjoying an event in Meagan’s life, and that Meagan could relax and enjoy herself without being stressed out in that situation. It is a gift we all give her, one I know she appreciates. If you are divorced and you aren’t giving the same gift to your child, you should. Put your stuff aside, and take up the stuff that matters to your child.

Book Report

I didn’t intend for this entry to be about divorce and remarriage, but it has taken on that flavor today all by itself. This is an email I received that I thought deserved mention, as it continues with my messages above:

“It isn't very often that I find something that stirs my soul to its very depths and reaches those dark corners of my heart that are nearly untouchable. Your books do just that. ‘Why a Daughter Needs a Mom’ so accurately portrays events, words, and feelings that I can relate to. It was given to me by my soon to be ex-husband. His mother gave him ‘Why a Daughter Needs a Dad,’ and it made an impression on him, a lasting impression. Thank you for reaching a part of him that no one else could. We share in the joy of raising our children, and are trying to stay focused on what is important for them. I love these books and with them will be reminded that being a parent is an awesome responsibility and a wonderful opportunity, to love and be loved unconditionally.”

Makes you think, doesn’t it? If you are still in your first marriage, squeeze it tight and make the best go of it. If you are not, do everything you can to make sure your children are not pawns in a battle. It leaves a scar.

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