Monday, May 01, 2006

Torn or thriving

Crazy Train (of thought)

Mike Luckovich shows us again and again his agenda is more about bashing President Bush than taking a principled stand on the issues. We can tell because the only thing consistent about his position is it is always opposite that of the President.

I was saddened to discover Phil Walden died. He was an underrated musical genius.

There is a big difference between self-confidence and self-importance, yet so many people confuse the two.

Have you ever noticed that the person who always complains about feeling controlled is also the one who is always demanding to get his way?

The beauty of artistic license is that you don’t have to fill out an application or write a check for it, and no one can revoke it.

Someone told me Mid-South Magazine was on the line and wanted to interview me. No, honey, it was Men’s Health magazine.

A fan arranged to meet me through a mutual friend. Just before the meeting my friend told me the fan observed “he adores his wife, but I think he isn’t too crazy about the dog.” I confess - I’m guilt on both counts.

Marital Bliss

Jill and I were having our Sunday evening champagne and suds soak in the garden tub last night, talking about the girls, summer plans, and events of the weekend. We attended a party and had the honor of watching someone propose. Scenes such as those always lead my beautiful wife and me to talk about our own engagement and wedding. It also leads us to discuss our future and how we want things turn out in our senior years. A new wish on my list is I want Jill to still think of me as Alicia thinks of her husband, Bob. She recently purchased my book “Why I Love You: 100 Reasons” and told me her favorite reason is “because you like to sleep like spoons.” “We’ve been together forty-seven years,” she said, “and I can’t sleep unless we’re spooning. He is my soft place to fall.” Does it get any sweeter than that?

Kid-bytes

Well the kids are now in the arms of their other parents. It’s always hard to see them go, but it is the right thing to do, to let them have their other family lives free of guilt, fear of reprisal, or feelings of divided loyalty. Jill and I are not saints, we each probably could’ve handled a few things better than we did, but all in all I think we are doing a good job as step-parents for each others’ child. We certainly try to stay focused on providing love and nurture to our blended family. There is no test per-se to determine if your kid is going to turn out unharmed by divorce, so instead you look for signs of normalcy and hope that it means all is well. In our house I think all is well – it is full of normal. The girls have the same tormented banter all siblings have, and the same good and fun times. Each of us has a bad day once in a while. All of us fall into a pile and hug once in a while. We argue over who gets to pick the movie or restaurant and we plan together for our next vacation. And of great importance, in our house the girls have the freedom and are encouraged to have fun with their other parents; Meagan is spending the week with her mom doing all the things girl do to get ready for her first prom dance and Jill and I will join them for photos later this week, and last night we sent Linley to her Dad an evening early so they could go to a concert by her favorite band. I think the choice for adults is really quite simple, that is, to make their kids feel torn between two families, or give them a thriving life enriched by two families. I hope when the girls reflect back on what kind of home Jill and I chose to give them, they think it was the latter.

Book Report

Sometimes I write articles for various magazines. I’m working on one now I hope will appear in Men’s Health; it is titled “Are You Half the Man You Think You Are?” It’s going to be a multiple choice test about how a man might choose to act when he finds himself in one of many scenarios. It needs some work yet; I’m still trying to come up with the scoring methodology. I’m thinking of a scale that goes from Caveman to Modern Man with a few points in between, but who knows where it will end up. I’ll give you a preview when I have the first draft completed.

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