Thursday, June 22, 2006

BE AN ADULT

Crazy Train (of thought)

Sorry for the delayed posting this week. We have had company for a few days and that results in not being able to get to the computer – my office also serves as a guest bedroom. It makes it a little difficult to get to the keyboard.

What do the goofballs on reality TV think, that they would actually come off looking good?

To what length would you go to spite someone? Would you embarrass your child, or put him/her in harm’s way. A stupid question, you might ask – who would do such a thing? Unfortunately, I know someone, even two people, who would do such a thing. It’s a sad situation.

You might not want to run for office if the skeletons in your closet are at risk for coming out!

All men should spend less time trying to conquer his neighbor and more time trying to conquer himself, wouldn’t you agree?

I had my father-in-law over for dinner the other night for a belated Father’s Day gift. He is a meat and potatoes kind of guy married to a vegetarian, so he gets very little meat. I cooked him a 3-inch thick NY strip on the grill. You should have seen the smile on his face.

He who nurtures others is amply feed. He who demands he be nurtured soon starves.

Marital Bliss

Jill recently said the most wonderful thing to me. We were listening to someone talk about how she had gotten into a bad marriage, explaining that at the time her then husband seemed to be someone she could “see myself getting married to.” Later Jill told me she understood that statement because she has been in that same frame of mind before, but years and a marriage later, when she met me, her thoughts were, “I couldn’t see myself not being married to you.” At that moment, my feet lifted off the ground. I adore my wife!!! And hon’, I can’t see myself living without you.

Kid-bytes

I received a nasty-gram from someone recently who bought my book Why a Daughter Needs a Dad to give to her estranged husband, hoping to use it to guilt him back into the failing marriage. I assure you, this is not its intended use. She told me how disgusted she was when she read the introduction, disgusted that I could hold myself out to be a good father yet I am a divorced man. I’m sure her wounds are fresh and still quite painful, so I showed her some grace and offered words of encouragement. But to you, I’ll say what was really on my mind. Divorce happens. Would I rather it not? Probably. Can I change the way things are? No. The simple truth is, about half of the marriages today will fail. It is painful, gut wrenching, terribly disappointing, yes. But the end of a life, the end of civil behavior, the last hope one has? No. Life continues on, if you let it. Why am I writing this in the Kid section? Because this woman told me of her plan to make sure her soon-to-be-ex would lose his relationship with his daughter if he went through with the divorce. Let me tell you something, a child is not property. One parent does not own a child more than another, or have preemptive or proprietary rights or the prerogative to disassemble the other parent-child relationship simply because their heart is broken. The bottom line is, BE AN ADULT! Don’t drag your child into your personal battle with your ex. If you do, in the end you will have caused far more damage than you can justify with the little, temporary moments of satisfaction you might feel when you think you’ve won a revenge battle. If you do, in the end you may find you have lost two relationships, not just one.

Book Report

The galley for my next book, Simple Acts, arrived. I review these looking for typos or other errors, then sign off on it so it can be released to a printer. Jill had not seen the photos I sent to my editor to be used in this particular book. You see, she always pushes for me to include a photo Princess, our dog who I don’t find particularly photogenic. Never mind that I have included the mutt in three books already – Jill still thinks with enough exposure she could be a star. All along I have been saying I was finished, done, feed-up with inserting that little turd machine in my masterpieces of literature, but little did she know I was planning to let one more slip in. When the galley arrived I asked Jill to give it the once over. She thumbed through it, then paused on a page and beamed. There she was, Princess, dressed in her evening gown. Some say she was smiling for the camera. I say she had on her customary dumb-as-a-brick-lost-in-the-dark face. Either way, and I mean this, four photo appearances is enough. Until, that is, I do a pet book, I guess.

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