Thursday, June 15, 2006

Knock-Knock

More from the Bahamas

In Nassau we were walking to a joint on the marina Jill had picked out for lunch. It seems we had walked for half-hour when the girls started to complain about the distance. She kept holding up the map and saying “it’s just right ahead, it’s not far,” and would hold up her fingers separated about half-an-inch to show us how much further on the map. After another 15 minutes I asked to look at the map. Turns out ¼ inch equals half a mile. I hailed a taxi.

Talk about high technology. We were sitting in the jet on the runway waiting for take-off when we heard what sounded like a knock on door at the tail section. This continued for several minutes before a passenger yelled out “Somebody’s at the door.” Sure enough, there was.

The girls got a glimpse of something not to do. As we waiting for the bus to take us to the airport, another tour bus pulled up – it was from the Booze Cruise. A twenty-something girl had to be lifted off by a friend and a few good Samaritans, and a porter loaded her onto a luggage cart to take her to her room. She was hurling all along the way. Yep, excess is ugly. Not only can it kill you, it can make you look like an arse.

If you are your own biggest fan, you’ve probably got issues Doctor Phil could spend a week on.

Doesn’t a Hummer look like a big Tonka toy?

Marital Bliss

I wrote a book called Love Signs: Hundreds of Ways to Show What is in Your Heart. It is dedicated to Jill, Meagan and Linley, and its premise is love should be demonstrated to give evidence to what one means when telling someone “I love you.” As we were leaving Atlantis last week we boarded a tour bus to go back to the Nassau airport. As we sat down I noticed the driver had posted a typed page on each window of the bus, each page listing bits of advice and wisdom to entertain the riders as we sat. I looked around reading them and then one caught my eye. It was titled “50 Ways to Stay Married.” As I read it I realized it was taken from my Love Signs book. I pointed it out to Jill and we smiled, knowing that our relationship is wonderful, wonderful enough that strangers would use it as an example to help convey their own thoughts. Here’s a few from the book and that list:

1. When you have had a fight, be the first to make peace. It won’t kill you.
2. Never mock or make fun of each other.
3. Try not to be the center of attention. Share the spotlight.
4. Strive to give more to the relationship than anything else in your life.
5. Be patient when you think you know what needs to be done but he hasn’t figured it out yet.
6. Overlook the mess she made if she was only trying to help you in the first place.
7. Share the good news with each other first.
8. Avoid withholding the bad news. It’s best to just get it out and get it over with.
9. Give her heart-shaped candy on the anniversary of your first date.
10. On the anniversary of your first date, give him that same lingering good-night kiss he hasn’t forgotten.


Kid-bytes

We don’t have the girls right now; they are in their other homes. As I’ve said before, Jill and I both miss them when they are gone – the house is calmer, quieter, our scheduled more flexible, but our lives less entertaining. Can’t wait for them to get back!

Book Report

In honor of Father’s Day, here’s Part III of the daily excerpt from the introduction of my book, WHY A SON NEEDS A DAD:

Today, with more years and a few hundred thousand miles under my feet, I have come to see my father very differently. Now being a father having my own conflict with an emerging teenager and experiencing for myself the stresses and challenges I must have presented in my youth, I smile when I realize my daughter and I are playing out the same debates and negotiations my father and I once did. Now, wiser, I know it was not that I was misunderstood or controlled, but that I lacked the life experience to know what risks I was taking, the judgment to get myself out of trouble before a permanent scar might be made, and the understanding that it was possible something bad could happen to me. Today I know my dad was protecting me from what I could not see, and simply trying to save himself from the gut wrenching fear of allowing his child to let go of his hand.

A dad has the responsibility of providing for his family. Sometimes the difficulties of that task go unrecognized and without gratitude. Now having that responsibility for myself -and for only one child, I might add - I look back in amazement at what my dad did. He sometimes worked two jobs to support his family; he pushed himself beyond his education to acquire the skills necessary for a better career; and he never bought things for himself before he did for his children. We ate well, dressed warmly, received gifts, and went on vacations. Even today he continues to extend help to his adult children when he sees it might be needed. I have called him in the middle of the night and he has come to me.

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