Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Twilight Zone

Crazy Train (of thought)

The only way to have a friend is to be one.

Today is the grand opening of Whole Foods! Laura and I aren’t yet sure if we are renting a moving truck or just taking our own cars.

As I was driving back from an early morning photo session yesterday I saw a little worn out and almost falling down shed on the side of the rode at a stop sign. It sported a crude hand lettered sign that read “Fresh Homemade Biscuits.” Everything about this place said fire hazard and health department flunky, but I was hungry and I love biscuits, so I ventured in. I pulled open the screen door and passed under an old Coke sign to enter. I smelled old coffee left too long on the burner and saw rickety dining tables scattered about a worn tile floor. I expected to find an ancient black woman with hands gnarled by arthritis or a toothless white granny in a hairnet and a snuff stained house dress to emerge from the kitchen. Neither. An itty-bitty Asian woman in a flour dusted apron came out to greet me. I suddenly had a flashback to a time when I walked into a black hair salon and found out too late I was the first head of Caucasian hair the stylist had ever touched. I cautiously ordered one biscuit, and she bowed and returned to the kitchen. Moments later she returned with a tinfoil covered something the size of a softball. I paid my two bucks and carried it outside, not wanting to show my displeasure to the nice cook if I hated what she had made. Once in the car I peeled back the foil and a buttery steam rose up and intoxicated me. Inside was the biggest, flakiest, best cat head biscuit I’ve ever tasted. I’m taking Jill there this weekend, even if it is in the Twilight Zone!

I wish somebody made wasabi toothpaste.

Whatever happened to email etiquette? Would you let someone speak to your face but then turn and walk away without responding? If not, answer your damn email!

Marital Bliss

During a recent get together someone remarked about how obvious it is that I love Jill. “You just want to eat her with a spoon, don’t you?” “If I could, I would use a straw instead so it would last longer,” I responded. All the women went “awwwwwwwhhhh.” Yep, I’m smooth.


I have been calling Meagan for two days and she hadn’t returned my calls. Wanting badly to talk with her I decided to send a text message that I thought would surely get her attention. I hit send and in less than five minutes she was on the line with me. My message? “What size shoes do you wear?”

Book Report

Yahoo! I’ve taken the last photos for my next book! Now on to writing it!

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