Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tough Questions

Welcome to my blog, a public diary chronicling the joys and frustrations of writing for a living, and a few points of interest along my life's meandering journey.

I write inspirational stories about relationships that share wisdom and teach important moral and life lessons, stories in which the reader might find hope, guidance, rekindled affection and a reason to smile.

Please visit and click the red corner on the home page just beneath the “Projects” tab to learn more about what projects I may be working on.

NOTE: The deadline to offer a mother-daughter story for “Mom’s Little Angel” has passed. Please continue to visit this blog for updates on the book as it begins the last leg of its journey toward publication (Spring, 2009).

Now on to today’s post~

Now and them someone tells me a story that must have been hard to admit to, but understanding the healing that can happen when others in similar circumstances realize they are not alone in the world, the story teller reaches beyond her own pain or embarrassment and in turn, with her confession, helps us all. This is such a story:

Martha had always expected that a certain conversation with her daughter would one day be required, but she wasn't exactly prepared for it the night it finally came up. Since the day Ashley was born, Martha had wrestled with what to say when her daughter began asking questions about the circumstances of her birth.

The pregnancy came at a time in Martha’s life when much was going wrong, especially the relationship with the child’s father. It was a relationship neither had any intention of continuing, and didn’t. Uncertain if she could or even should raise a child on her own, Martha began exploring adoption agencies.

In no time a couple was found who were thrilled at the prospect of adopting the unborn child. They had been hoping for a baby girl. Martha was relieved that a solution had been set into place so quickly. In less than a month, there would be one less thing in her life to sort out.

When the baby with the cherub face was born, Martha held the infant for what was to be their only, brief contact with each other. It was the moment when everything changed; maternal instinct kicked in and overpowered all the new mother’s other plans. Her baby was beautiful and perfect and from then on she couldn't imagine a life without her.

"Mom, was I wanted?" Ashley asked, switching off the television and turning on the sofa to face her mother.

Martha took a deep breath and looked into her child’s big blue eyes. "For all of your life, I have wanted you."

"But did you plan to have me? Or was I an accident?"

Martha measured her words carefully and drew a reluctant breath. “No, sweetie, you weren’t planned.” She then nervously and slowly shed light on the details of her past: the drug and alcohol abuse, irregular employment and sordid living conditions. Saving the most difficult for last, she finally confessed to nearly giving her child up for adoption.

“I was certain I wouldn’t be the kind of mother you deserved,” she said, tears now streaming down her cheeks. She looked once more into her daughter’s eyes, expecting to find hurt and disappointment. She braced herself, believing if her child was angry there was no one to blame but herself.

But instead of anger, and to her surprise and great relief, Martha found a loving smile and warm expression of understanding on her daughter’s face.

“You are the best mother I could ever hope for,” Ashley said, reaching out for her mother’s trembling hand. “And you always have been, too.”

Well, I guess that’s enough for today. Thanks so much for visiting my blog. Now go out and hug somebody!

1 comment:

Jessica said...

Oh my goodness what a sweet story, but I agree that that must have been a hard one to admit.