Monday, October 27, 2008

Best of 2006 Part III, and Baby Girl Drives

My neighbor, his friend, and I, had lunch together the other day. My neighbor and I have daughters, his friend, boys. His friend got caught checking out the waitress. My neighbor and I agreed that having daughters changed the way we looked at and thought about women. His friend asked why. My neighbor summed it up beautifully. He said, “When you have a son you only worry about one penis. When you have a daughter, you worry about all the penises.”

Teaching is the art of raising good questions and challenging students to think differently through considering hypothetical scenarios. It is not a license to stand on a soapbox and indoctrinate a captive audience.

Last night my neighbor and I watched our wives dancing on the kitchen counter. We easily agreed the martini shaker was a worthwhile investment.

While taking photos at a friend’s house she showed me her new pet, one of those ugly hairless felines, like Doctor Evil’s cat, Mr. Bigglesworth. “Touch it,” she said. I did. “Feels like a penis, doesn’t it,” she said. Realizing this was a trick question, I asserted my rights under the Fifth Amendment.

Driving home from dinner I looked over at Meagan and she was sniffing her loafers. Huh?

On the same trip, I saw a Chihuahua hanging her (wearing a pink fuzzy collar) head out the car window, barking at its reflection in the mirror. It reminded me of a time when one of Meagan’s girlfriends came running back to the table to tell us how she saw a girl in the restaurant bathroom wearing the same dress she had on, only to realize a minute later it was her own reflection in a floor-to-ceiling mirror. “I did that once,” Meagan said. Must be a girl thing.

Second-best Quote (Caiylyn, Meagan’s girlfriend, as they were getting ready for our dinner out on the town): “Shoulders back, boobs out.”

And on a realtime note, I took Linley out on the far back country roads to begin her driving lessons yesterday, just as I'd promised her I would do. The little critter drove 45 miles without major incident and only four near misses, quite a feat, I think, it being only her second time behind the wheel outside of our neighborhood. No sooner than I'd said "avoid small towns and the police," we turned a corner and found ourselves at a red light in the middle of a small town, stopped alongside the police station. I once heard someone call such things "ironical." Thank God I didn't warn her to take care and not run off the shoulder of the road, which is exactly what I did the first time my Dad put me behind the wheel of his old puke green pickup truck way back in 1975. Lordy, Baby Girl won't be a baby much longer.

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