Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Best of 2007, Part I

You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.

Jill and I got up to go to the bathroom at the same time while on an international flight recently. When I got to the toilet I looked over my shoulder and my wife was no where to be seen. I went back to our section of the plane and found her, sprawled out in the aisle, her foot caught in the earphone wire that I had hung on my armrest. For some reason I got into trouble for this.

After untangling herself and visiting the loo, Jill commenced to reading a British tabloid. After some time she looked at me and confessed to reading the paper with a British accent.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

Jill, Meagan and I were watching the news when they did a segment on eye surgery. Meagan grossed out and started talking about the kind of medical conditions or procedures that make her nauseous. She asked Jill which, if any, disturbed her. My wife’s answer? “Beheadings.” I’ll say.

Devoting a little of yourself to everything means committing a great deal of yourself to nothing.

The person who pays an ounce of principle for a pound of popularity gets badly cheated.

There is no greater love than the love that holds on when there seems nothing left to hold on to.

Things I’m going to teach my grandchildren to do:
1. Be 20 minutes late for anything and everything.
2. Leave shoes all over the house.
3. Never rinse your dishes.
4. Listen to your music loud enough that no one else in the house can hear anything.
5. Wait until the last minute to share important information.
6. Impose only on your parents, never your friends.
7. Keep your plans a secret until the time when revealing them will wreck other’s plans.
8. Beg shamelessly for money, even when you have some of your own.
9. Look in the refrigerator and identify what are essential ingredients for the night’s meal. Eat that for a snack.
10. Leave sticky fingerprints in conspicuous places, especially in the guest bathroom.

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